Marissa challenged me to share my story…

BY Aprile McKinnon

Working at the Friday Flyer has been such a wonderful experience. I have learned so much more about the community I love and I have been challenged by stories that I have written. Friday Flyer Publisher Chuck Golding gave me a tip on a story and off I went to meet with Canyon Laker Marissa Charest.

As I listened to 33-year-old Marissa’s recent battle with alcohol, I felt compelled to share my own story with her. It takes a very brave soul like her to share her deepest heartaches and challenges in life. Being so vulnerable in a small town can be very frightening.

On Jan. 29, I also stopped drinking alcohol. I am still alcohol free (AF) and I have felt so much better since. My journey was a little different than Marissa’s, but aren’t we all really the same with just a little different story?

Like so many others, COVID-19 had thrown me in a place that was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I was no longer performing or going out with friends. I was struggling with the death of one of my dear cousins who was like a daughter to me. There were countless things that were throwing my world upside down, and, like so many others during the pandemic, I started drinking more. I had fun.

I thought since I did real estate and needed to be sharp during the day, I would only drink after 7:00 p.m. I wanted to remain responsible, but also wanted to cut loose. I did not want drinking to interfere with my work.

The get-togethers became more frequent with just a few friends that I would hang out with. We played games, cards, watched movies in a friend’s backyard and really bonded. However, I am really not a great drinker. I am funny, but it doesn’t take much to put me over the edge. I said things that hurt my friends, and I am sorry because I can’t take it back.

I had so much emotional stuff going on that the drinking would take me to some bad places. I hurt people that I loved because my mouth would open when it should have stayed closed, if you know what I mean. My own pain was being released in ways that it shouldn’t have.

During one of those painful days and after a health issue I had, I decided the very next day that was it…I was done. The people I love mean way more to me than numbing myself from the pain I was going through.

I wrote my kids a letter. Here is an excerpt from the letter:

“Alcohol is not my friend, but the darkest of enemies…it changes our inner being and acts as a fun release, a moment to let it all out, let down our moral judgements, just let it go, laugh and then possibly become the very thing that we then become bondage to.”

I knew the drinking was causing mood swings, anxiety and pain in my body. I stopped drinking 14 days prior to sending the letter to my kids. I wanted to be certain I would never do it again.

I moved to Canyon Lake and loved it here. I made so many wonderful friends. I always challenged myself by doing two weeks of no drinking, then 30 days, 60 days, and 90 days. It wasn’t until this AH period of time that I decided I really felt much better not drinking. The times in the past that I stopped drinking, I really didn’t notice an improvement in how I felt. This time however I have felt an extreme change. After the fourth month, my energy soared, my creativity sprouted, my body didn’t hurt as much, and, oh, I remembered everything the next day…lol.

I have been able to handle the difficult things in my life in a different way. I can laugh at myself more and when I am out with my friends I have no judgment at all. I love being a non-drinker. (I do wish there were more mocktails out at our restaurants, though.)

I don’t mind being the designated driver and I can look at life differently now. I am joining Marissa on her journey and have made a wonderful new friend. I will be there with her on the Canyon Lake Beyond the Bottle for support, encouragement and friendships. If you want to come and just be without a drink for one event, two events or more we will be here for you.

Deep relationships are made when we come together, and, you know, I think Marissa is pretty darn cool…so I hope you will get to know her, too! If you care to learn more about what I did on my journey, please feel free to contact me at 951-545-7855.

Nothing is easy, and we can fall. It‘s the getting back up, brushing off the dirt and learning through our mistakes that makes us who we are.

Canyon Lake, I love you! I hope you have an awesome weekend!