A comedic debacle, ‘Hot Pursuit’ has few laughs

BY

Ron and Leigh Martel
Movie Reviewers, The Friday Flyer

Teaming Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon with Golden Globe winner Sofia Vergara must have looked great on paper. In “Hot Pursuit,” Witherspoon plays the straight-laced bumbling cop while the flamboyant Vergara is well . . . who cares? It’s Sofia Vergara, are we right guys? Polar opposites, this odd couple has our attention.

Both actors have been extremely successful in comedic roles, so what could go wrong, other than just about everything? Even with a moderate production, these ladies could entertain their audience. However, director Anne Fletcher (“The Proposal”) and TV sitcom writers David Feeney and John Quaintance aim so much lower.

“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” was disastrous mostly because it tried so hard to be hilarious, which is what it’s supposed to do. It just missed, by a lot. However, “Hot Pursuit” never attempts to be anything more than the silliest TV sitcom. To execute this debacle, the trivial script is filled with over-used clichés with little to no grasp of comedic timing.

Here, rookie Officer Cooper (Witherspoon) is placed in charge of protecting a mob boss’ wife, Daniella Rivas (Vergara), expected to be a witness for the prosecution. Thelma and “Louisa” are chased in their red convertible by dirty cops and drug cartel thugs between San Antonio and Dallas, and that’s the where the fun is supposed to begin.

Originally titled “Don’t Mess with Texas,” we’ve seen this premise so many times, but it usually succeeds at some level. Unfortunately, Witherspoon is legally bland and the dumb blond role is replaced with the stereotypical dumb Latina. That may or may not be politically correct, but for two years running, Vergara was the highest earning TV actress in the U.S., while Forbes ranked her in the Top 50 Most Powerful Women in the World.

As you may have seen from the movie trailer, the script is so bad that even Nicholas Cage might have given it a second look. Then early on, both stars painstakingly and inexplicably over-act each line and every gag to squander their well-earned goodwill with the audience. Initially, the courtesy laughs seem forced, but as the characters become increasingly insufferable, the laughs are fewer and further between.

To be fair, this buddy picture is easy to follow, exploits the physical and cultural differences between the two and features some slapstick one-liners with comedic action. However, Witherspoon must be kicking herself for accepting this corny “Barney Fife” role and then following with such an annoying portrayal that isn’t particularly notable or funny.

Meanwhile, the mob boss’ wife seems less informed than most political bloggers and guilty of nothing more than possibly shoplifting a couple cantaloupes. She manages to shine simply by preening around in five-inch stilettos and a slinky white dress for the first half of the film and then mugging for the remainder of this equal opportunity debacle.

The jokes range from drugs, gender, age, race, sexuality and stupidity. Some of those told in Spanglish are difficult to decipher, but most aren’t that complex, so you get the gist with only a few key words anyway. There is a place for a third-rate road trip farce with charismatic star power. Those looking for something else should look elsewhere.

“Hot Pursuit” is 87 minutes and rated PG-13 for sexual content, violence, language and some drug material. Sure, Ms. Vergara is delicious eye candy, but even filming in 3D wouldn’t have helped this tragic production. There are mildly amusing moments, but it desperately needs a complete rewrite, focused direction and measured acting.

The good news is that women are entitled to make as dreadful a buddy picture as the dudes, but the real question the talent should be asking is, “Who is to blame?” The introduction flashes the banner “An Anne Fletcher Film.” That might be a good place to start, but it’s difficult to blame someone who aims low and then achieves it.

Ron’s Rating: C-   Leigh’s Rating: D