As fate would have it, I inherited a pontoon boat

When we moved to Canyon Lake over 40 years ago, “Get a boat,” they said, “It will be fun.” We knew it would be fun; but Pastor Pete, being a thrifty Dutchman, decided if we wanted to have a boat ride, we could hitch a ride with a person who has a boat, pays for the registration every year, takes care of the maintenance, keeps it clean and stores it at their dock.

For him, it was perfect, but for me, going for a boat ride every five years didn’t seem right when you live on a lake. It was a constant discussion in our home that I never won.

As fate would have it, I did finally win the discussion when 30 years later I inherited a boat: an almost new 21-foot pontoon boat.

On the side of the boat, it said “Party Barge” which didn’t exactly describe our life. We really needed a “eat dinner at five so that you can watch ‘Family Feud’ at six kind-of-a-barge.” That has been the extent of our “party life” for the past 50 some years.

I then decided that if it said “Party Barge” I was going to have a party. I would start with just a few people and expand as I became a more “seasoned sailor.”

Within a short time, we had guests over for dinner and I decided that having appetizers on our “party barge” followed by dinner on our deck would be awesome.

I planned to impress our guests as we floated down the East Bay listening to classical music while dipping little pieces of chicken into an orange sauce that matched the color of the sunset. It was a perfect plan!

The day arrived and we boarded our boat and began our pre-dinner cruise through the East Bay. The sounds of “Water Music” by Handel was cued up on the CD player. Everyone was relaxed enjoying my well-orchestrated cruise.

All was fine until we found ourselves on the main lake. Pastor Pete’s freeway habits suddenly overcame him. He eased the boat into the steady flow of boats making their way around the lake, smiled strangely and pushed down the accelerator. Suddenly, our boat lurched forward.

Pastor Pete had decided to join the “big boys” as they sped around the lake. His desire to never have a car pass him transferred to his boating experience. I loudly reminded him that we were on a “Party Barge” and not a speed boat, but it all fell on deaf ears.

Within moments, I felt as if I was at a rodeo and they had just opened the gate. The bull came out of the gate bucking the rider off and I was the rider!

Food started sliding on our plates and the ridge on the table took on a new life. Instead of keeping the food on the table, it provided a launching pad for the cooked shrimp.

I watched as our guests attempted to grab the meatballs which had slid onto their laps. Beverages were a lost cause as the ice cubes flew into the air with every bounce of the boat. Soon, the cheese ball seemed to have sprouted wings as it flew past my face.

Every time a deviled egg was flung overboard by the force of the boat hitting the wake of another boat, Pastor Pete would laugh and yell, “Egg Overboard.”  I failed to see the humor!

My “parties on a party barge” soon ended due to the effort that I used the next day to scrub all the “flying food” off the carpet, seats and sides of the boat. I kept reminding myself, “Get a boat,” they said, “It will be fun.”

Currently, the POA Board is discussing the possibility of dredging the East Bay. Obviously, the board has no idea that our grandson Bill has been dredging the East Bay for years.

On his first fishing trip on our boat, he caught a broken lawn chair. Later that same year, he was sure that he had a huge catfish until he brought up a moldy beach umbrella.

I decided not to visit any more garage sales to find good deals on outdoor furniture. I’ll take Bill fishing for a couple of days and my deck will be furnished in no time!

To his list of profitable catches, we added fishing nets, lunch boxes, sweatshirts and tennis shoes. There is a wealth of treasure buried in the depth of the East Bay!

Some of Bill’s catches were very challenging, such as the day when he caught our cat…not a catfish, but a fishing cat! Bill’s casting ability has always been one to admire, but there was a day when our cat admired Bill’s ability a little too closely.

Bill ended up with a cat on the end of his pole, our cat ended up with a lure in his mouth, Bill ended up with tears on his face realizing that he had “caught a cat,” and Pastor Pete ended up with our screaming cat clawing him as he successfully saved Bill’s precious lure.

Perhaps items that needed the most explaining to Bill was the day when he was trolling in the East Bay and “caught” two interesting items within minutes of one another. First, he brought up a black bra and 15 minutes later he brought up a woman’s shoe complete with a 6-inch stiletto heel.

It was that day that Bill learned “What happens in Canyon Lake, stays in Canyon Lake!”