Social media has never been my forte

BY Pat Van Dyke

How I ever lived without a computer, I’ll never know! I now use my computer for everything from deciding how to fry chicken to looking up the time that Disneyland opens.

The only problem is that when I discovered what time Disneyland opened, I also glanced at the cost per person. I then remembered why my family has only been to Disneyland once. I’ve convinced my family that a fried chicken dinner is far more satisfying event than going around in circles in an oversized teacup.

There are things about my computer that I have avoided. I don’t know how to print envelopes, create labels, or edit a movie, but I have tried to learn the new terms that are so prevalent in our computerized society today.

I know that a spreadsheet is something that I do every day when I make my bed. I download my groceries every time I place them on the bottom shelf of my pantry, but watching a movie while you are streaming is next to impossible because Salt Creek is usually dry!

A hard drive is when the freeway is bumper to bumper and a soft drive is when I place an extra pillow on my car seat.

The only time that I consider myself somewhat knowledgeable regarding my computer is when I browse through Facebook.

Social media has never been my forte. I discovered that most computer users are active on at least five social media sites. Facebook, with its 1.5 billion users per month, is by far the most popular followed by YouTube with 1.5 million. Next, is Twitter with 400 million users and right behind Twitter is Instagram with its 275 million users per month.

How many social media sites am I on? I am on a grand total of one, and that I joined very reluctantly.

Facebook was publicly launched in 2006. From 2006 to 2009, I didn’t even give it a thought. I was told I could get in contact with “new people” by joining Facebook.

I already knew enough old people and my Christmas card list was already way too long! If I wanted to meet “new people,” I would hang around a hospital maternity ward.

In late 2009, I finally gave in and joined Facebook. Why I did, I really don’t know. But sneaking a peek at someone’s life was tempting! Was I being nosey? I think a better term was that I was “just interested.” No, that’s really not it. I was being nosey!

What I discovered was far from earth-shattering. I learned that Sally wanted input on what vegetable she should serve for dinner, corn or bean. I suggested Brussel sprouts.

I was quizzed what I remembered from the “olden days” only to be disappointed that most of the 25 unusual and worthless items from those same “olden days” I was still using daily! After all, who doesn’t still use their bacon fryer that only fries bacon?

Next, I was asked to “suggest friends to my friends.” If my friends want more friends, I really think that they should find them for themselves. I had to find my own and it wasn’t easy, especially when I was 10 years old. Who really wants to be friends with a 10-year-old who lives on a dairy and only takes a bath on Saturday because church is the next day?

Keep in mind that when I was 10, which was in 1956, all that was required was a bath once a week and if you were lucky, you pulled the longest straw which meant that you bathed first when the water was still hot and clean!

Now 10 years later, I still enjoy Facebook. Not for the political statements, the tasty recipes, or the amazing dates that a wife has with her husband, but for the humor of one my “friends,” Gene, who has an incredible sense of humor and I love each and every one of his posts.

Gene is a long-time friend that became part of my life long before Facebook. Our mothers were best friends when a friend was just that, a friend. His family was our family’s best friends. In fact, my brother married his sister and friendships don’t get any better than that.

Decades later, Gene is still having a great effect on my life. He shares needed information on Facebook every day. Through Gene and Facebook, I have learned that banks need to get better at restocking their ATMs. One day he went to five different ATMs and they all had “insufficient funds.” If you don’t get it, just think about it!

He also expresses that it’s a shame that nothing is built in the USA anymore. He just bought a TV and the box said, “Built-in Antenna.” He doesn’t even know on which continent Antenna is located.

Gene did point out to his Facebook friends that he is self-employed and if we see him talking to himself, we shouldn’t disturb him because he’s having a staff meeting.

I do appreciate him being so honest by admitting that if there were a pill for procrastination, he would probably take it tomorrow.

My favorite piece of advice from Gene appeared on my Facebook page a few days ago. “If you are buying smart water for $3 a bottle, I’m sorry to tell you that it’s not working.” Only a real friend would make that observation! Gene, thanks for being my friend.