My list of new friends is growing every day

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I am quite surprised at the number of new friends I have acquired as I grow older. It is gratifying that so many strangers have found a relationship with me important to their lives. For example, two young ladies call me every morning to invite me to join them in improving my health and financial situation. Each has the sincerity of voice that makes me want to know more.

For example, one young lady (she sounds young) calls every morning at 7 a.m., then again at 7:30 a.m., to explain to me that she has reviewed my credit account and wants to help me make better purchase decisions. I try to talk to her but her line goes dead leaving me frustrated.

However, not to worry, another young voice calls before 8 a.m. sounding a bit annoyed over the fact she has tried time and again to email or phone me to warn me that my eligibility to achieve great savings in my bank accounts is about to expire. Then she suggests I enter my account numbers and she will be happy to make my financial life more productive.

I ask to speak to someone to take advantage of this marvelous offer only to have their line go dead. I tried to contact them again to tell them their phone system had gone awry, but could not reach them. I hope they fix it so that the people they are trying to help can benefit.

As the day goes on, my list of new friends grows; someone from the electric company calls mid-morning warning me that apocalyptic power outages loom over Canyon Lake and If I hurry and install solar panels in time to ride out the imminent collapse of the national power grid. It must be serious because when I ask to speak to someone alive I am told to leave a phone number, home address and credit card number and someone would call me back. After I waited a short time, the line went dead. I’m not too worried, they always call back – sometimes several times a day.

At least once a day a gruff sounding male calls to tell me my house is collapsing and he would gladly drop by and fix it. From roof to foundation it seems to be imploding. If I tell him where I live he’ll rush over and what it takes to fix it all. “Where do you live,” he asks, but when I try to tell him a voice comes on saying I’m taking too long to decide and he will call back. He always does, but I’m too slow punching my buttons to achieve a connection. I hope he does; if I can get by his rudeness, he’s probably a nice guy.

One of my favorite new friends is the sweet lady who calls at dinner time to ask if I am the homeowner and is my name Kenneth. After I answer both questions she says she’s hoping I’m having a great day and do I have an air conditioner and how old is it. While I am searching my memories for the answer, she tells me she can check public building code records and call me back. She then asked for my social security number. At that moment, on my phone another call coming in and when I got back she was gone. I know she’ll call again.

Sometimes I get emails from people thinking of me and my future. These are from mortuaries clearly thinking ahead of me. Once, I was invited to attend a lunch with others to discuss final arrangements. There would be a choice of three entrees as well as my choice of a non-alcoholic beverage. Attendance was limited to 30 and I was encouraged to call to make my reservation. Well, that was so thoughtful that they had discovered my age and were thinking ahead for me. I was so touched, I haven’t called yet, but maybe I will the next time I am invited.

When I tell my sons about these caring people, they seem unconvinced; they encourage me to ask the caller for his or her name and phone number so I could call them back. I think they might think I’m rude and that I am questioning their sincere intentions. When I do ask, they all refuse, suggesting by their hanging-up that they are hurt. But I know they get over that quickly because the always call back the next day. I am pleased they don’t seem to carry a grudge.

Yes, my list of new friends is growing every day. I’ve taken to reading Ask Abby; she always offers such sound advice. I know if I had a problem I could share it with her and she would reply to me, and the whole world, what to do about it. So far I haven’t been able to get her on the phone.

What nice people I can now call my friends.

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Ken Cable