‘Logan’ finale scratches its way to the top rankings

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After seventeen years and ten films (counting cameos), this is the end of Logan’s run. Yes, it was time to go. In the original “X-Men” (2000), Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) was handsome and charismatic, but now resembles that infamous Nick Nolte mug shot. Sloshed and haggard, the aging and brooding superhero doesn’t look or feel so super.

This is not a typical “X-Men” action flick. The predictably choreographed action scenes are now rated R. The veins in Wolverine’s neck still bulge with rage when he viciously and brutally slices and dices his victims to a bloody pulp, but it’s not what your child might imagine with his or her X-Men action figures.

We can’t remember the last time we saw so many heads fall off like bowling balls. Maybe it’s somehow more acceptable when it’s nameless characters that get shredded like ripe tomatoes through the Vegamatic. In fairness, most of the audience didn’t mind the repeated F-bombs and even enjoyed the gratuitous violence, or maybe it was the story conveying all the heartfelt soul searching and self-pity of “Manchester by the Sea.”

In the year 2029, Logan is in a permanent funk. Most of the mutants have been rounded up or worse. The dude is perpetually zoned out; looking like he lost his email password, then erupts as if flunking anger management. Logan explains, “Nature made me a freak, man made me a weapon and God made it last too long.” Sure, it must be difficult being a serial killer, but it’s mostly for the good. You know, to keep it in perspective.

In a dystopian El Paso (double negative?), Logan is a limo driver hoping to scrape up some needed cash. He and Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) plan to buy a boat and sail out to the sea of peace. Good luck with that. The absent minded professor suffers from dementia. Sadly, it’s no longer Charles in charge.

Logan keeps the pathetic Professor pharmaceutically neutered so he doesn’t explode with excruciating headaches that send shock waves throughout the immediate area. Stewart lost 21 pounds to play the role of this sick and elderly nonagenarian. Or, as Jimmy Kimmel says, “The same as every actress has done for every role, ever!”

Logan’s plans are dramatically changed when introduced to eleven-year old Laura (Dafne Keen). Charles tells Logan, “She’s like you, she’s very much like you.” Uh oh! Being the responsible superhero, he moonwalks out of there. Already at his tipping point in guilt and facing his own mortality, the loner comes to grips with needing loved ones in his life; nah! But, as dark forces pursue this young mutant, he reluctantly agrees to help.

Director and co-writer James Mangold returns from “Wolverine,” the first of this specific trilogy. Here, he creates settings that are spectacularly bleak, dauntingly painful and emotionally devastating. Maybe some occasional humor and redemption could have improved the receptivity without losing the message. However, Mangold plans to release a black and white version, as maybe this one is a little too bubbly?

This is a serious movie. If Jackman were any more miserable, he could become the next Batman. In one scene, the characters watch the classic Western, “Shane” (1953), about an aging gunfighter (Alan Ladd), with an unfavorable past who must face who and what he is. Jackman based the story outline on “Shane,” “Unforgiven” and “The Westler.”

“Logan” is 137 minutes and rated R for strong brutal violence, language and brief nudity. This is the second longest X-Men movie and it feels like it. On the positive side, it does begin with a trailer for the new “Deadpool.” Logan is understandably reflective and even despondent, but the character is so irrational he borders on becoming unlikeable.

Logan explains to Laura, who he has mostly ignored, “I hurt people. Bad stuff happens to people I care about.” She deadpans, “Then I will be fine.” Apparently, Laura crossed the border from the Mexican mutant factory, the real reason for The Wall, yikes! Jackman assures us this is his last X-Men film. Until now, we had enjoyed the character and hoped for a different story. They only scratched the surface.

Ron’s Rating: D   Leigh’s Rating: D

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