On insecurities and how to deal with them

BY Friday Flyer

Courtney Sharkey
Teen Columnist, The Friday Flyer

Everybody has their own insecurities, and we all cope with them differently. Everyone was not created equally and we as a whole have learned to accept our differences from person to person. But why is it when we look at ourselves, society has taught us to be insecure?

Having a good body image is really important. The way you view yourself can rub off on other people. Watching TV shows or reading magazines gives us a false look at reality. With Photoshop now available, it makes it as easy as a touch of a button to change the way we are viewed or seen by others. Even I’m guilty of using filters and effects on my photos.

Commenting on how people look is actually a touchy subject for me. I was never comfortable with my own weight. Growing up insecure, and still being that way from time to time because of what others thought of me, at times controlled my life. Whenever anyone comments on my weight or how much I eat, it always brings me down.

Whether it’s, “I can’t believe you just ate that whole pizza when it’s late in the day.” Or the other end of the stick, when people say, “No wonder you’re so skinny; it’s because you never eat.” I feel like I’m constantly being filtered by society.

A lot of people comment on how skinny someone is as a compliment; but in my mind, I can’t take it that way. I’ve gone through stages of my life from overweight to underweight over and over again to finally where I am now. When people comment on my weight or food intake, it scares me. It makes me think about the past and everything I have gone through to get to where I am now.

I don’t want to be skinny, tiny or fragile; nor do I want to be chubby or overweight. Giving compliments to anyone can be tricky because everyone has their own insecurities. Mine just so happens to be the one thing that everyone tends to notice first and point out.

It’s been hard for me to keep this in, so I’m glad to finally let it out. All I want to be is the best version of myself for myself. At this moment in time I cannot say that I don’t care what other people’s opinions are on my weight, because I do. It’s just easier for me not to know.

I’ve been getting better and better at accepting my own body. I figured out that being fit and healthy is what I want most in life. From my nutritional plan to my daily workouts, all the way to gym “homework” with my trainer, my confidence levels have boosted out of the roof. I used to be obsessed with the number on the scale. I can proudly say that I have not weighed myself in two whole months!

I used to look at a scale at least two times a day and tell myself I’m not good enough. Why purposely put yourself in a position like that? Not looking at a scale has made working out and gaining muscle a lot easier. It is my belief that society should not dictate that “pretty” has anything to do with how much you weigh or what size clothing you wear.

Why is society so focused on one’s appearance rather than their abilities? I have always questioned why people focus on my appearance and not my accomplishments. How about my grades in school or my golfing ability?

I work out every day to get stronger to improve on my golf game, practicing from sun up to sun down; then come home to study for my classes to get good grades. Whenever someone compliments me, I never once hear that I’m a hard worker, or that I’m strong. It’s always the causal “you’re really pretty” or “I love your outfit.”

We focus on what is outside, not what is within. We need to be like refrigerators. What matters is what’s on the inside; the outside shell shouldn’t matter.

Talking to friends about my insecurities has also really helped me out. If you tell someone you trust about one of your problems, it helps relieve stress about the situation. Whenever I got super anxious or stressed about something, I always talked to my closest friends because I knew I could trust them. It helped me get through some really tough times in my life.

While being insecure can seem debilitating at times, just know that you’re not the only one feeling this way. There are always ways to fix insecurities. Try thinking about your goals and all of the things that you can do to achieve them in a healthy way. Once you have planned everything out, you need to become very disciplined in the steps that it takes to get to your ultimate goal.

Remember that being healthy in this process is your number one priority, because your health is your foundation for everything you are and everything that you are able to do. If what you’re doing is unhealthy, it can cause you all kinds of other problems aside from your insecurities.

Try being a new you for yourself; do not ever change for someone else. Do the unimaginable, say that you can, and you will. Be dedicated to the process of accepting your insecurities and other people around you will as well. Never compare yourself to another person. You are unique, and you are perfect just the way you are.