The ‘Great Curfew Debate’ is underway in CL

BY Dale and Kellie Welty

Chances are you know the tagline from the vintage public service announcement that used to air before the evening news: “It’s 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?” The announcer’s ominous tone served as a not-so-subtle reminder for parents to stay informed about their children’s whereabouts late at night. And one of the most practical ways parents do that is with a curfew.

I’m on the Community Patrol Committee, and when I suggested we revisit the curfew rule in Canyon Lake, the reaction was pretty split. Parents and other concerned residents have a big debate right now about curfew.

It’s no surprise that curfews can cause problems. It’s the classic yin-yang of a parent-teen relationship: The kid is always clamoring for independence, while the parent strives to raise a responsible person and keep him safe. So should all teens have a curfew? More importantly, are they actually effective?

I grew up in California and, once I started hanging out with friends after dark at the age of 16, I had a curfew of midnight. I was not allowed to leave the house and just “go out” regardless of my age. As long as I lived at home I had to tell my parents where I was going. After having my own children, I have tried to set the same standards.

A lot has changed since I was a kid. We have cell phones that can track our kids. Because of cell phones, we as parents don’t ever get to know everyone our children are talking to. Growing up I was always told my mother could not sleep until we were home. I am the same way. I need to know everyone is home safe before I can really go to bed.

During my son’s teen years in Canyon Lake, I noticed many of his friends did not have a curfew. They were allowed to come and go and most parents’ had a sense of comfort with that as long as their kids stayed inside the gates of the community.

I don’t know if that same sense of comfort is still present but I do notice a lot of teens out very late. I often wonder if they have a curfew and, if so, did they sneak out. Often I see these kids hanging out in the parks with friends.

Canyon Lake is implementing the new curfew rule that teens must be in the presence of their parent after 10 p.m. This was adopted after reviewing several other cities’ curfew policies. What do you think about this? Will this curfew change anything within your family?

The Research

While there are several studies looking at the pros and cons of city-wide, legally-enforced juvenile curfews aimed at reducing crime, there aren’t many on how curfews play out in individual families.

However, one survey conducted by Columbia University shows that curfews can help curb teens’ risky behavior. Researchers found that teens with “hands off” parents were four times at risk for drinking, smoking and drug use compared to those with established rules and expectations.

Curfews can even reduce the risk of car accidents, the leading cause of teenage death in the U.S. Since kids are more likely to receive citations or be involved in a serious accident between 9 p.m. and 5 a.m., according to the California Department of Motor Vehicles, the state, along with Virginia and Nevada, have implemented teen driving curfews.

As a result, such states are associated with 60 percent less crashes during curfew hours, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. So in theory, a similar rule at home could be beneficial.

What the Experts Say

The fact is, if a teenager wants to find trouble, he or she can do so before the curfew ends.

Barbara F. Metz, author of “Put Yourself In Their Shoes,” writes, “Do I believe in curfews? Yes. Do I think they will keep a child out of trouble? It depends what you mean by trouble. If you mean trouble with the law, there is lots of discussion about that. If you mean, will curfews keep her from getting pregnant? From smoking cigarettes? Trying pot? Drinking? Hanging with the ‘wrong’ kids? Not so much. These are all activities that determined teens will find a way to do, curfew or not. What protects teens from these and other potentially dangerous activities is not rules and punishments but conversation and relationships. From respecting you and trusting you and feeling respected and trusted by you in return. These are qualities that happen over the course of a child’s lifetime.”

However, others argue that coming home on the earlier side is safer. “The later you are out, the more you are exposed to people who are fatigued, who are celebrating, who are drug or alcohol affected, who are more inclined to social violence . . .” psychologist Carl Pickhardt writes in Psychology Today.

Rather than setting a blanket curfew, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), suggests giving trustworthy teens flexibility on special occasions such as prom night. “Flexibility encourages a teen to demonstrate responsibility in exchange for expanded privileges.”

Other experts recommend allowing teens to help set their own curfews, to boost the odds they’ll obey them and to foster independence, especially if they’re close to college-age.

Planned Parenthood suggests this happy medium: “It’s important that we set clear expectations about what time we want our teens to be home. It sends the message that we care about them and their well-being. We can also set the expectation that we expect a phone call or text if they’re going to be late. We can discuss with our teens what they think are appropriate curfews given their age and what they will be doing. By listening to them and allowing them to negotiate with us, it shows that we respect them and understand that they are increasingly responsible for themselves.”

The Bottom Line

It’s up to parents to decide whether their teen needs a curfew or is trustworthy enough to set his or her own schedule. If you opt for one, parenting experts recommend discussing upcoming plans and an appropriate time to end the evening, depending on the circumstances.